r - e - s - p - e - c - t .

let's talk about respect.
respect means acknowledgment, honor - it's commonly the result of admiration.

i don't want to talk about respect between friends or respect between acquaintances or the type of respect you have for a singer/dancer/author etc. - i want to talk about the respect towards our elders.

i don't understand why they believe that just because they're old, we should have some sort of respect for them. They act as if it's a compulsory thing with the quote, "respect your elders." sure, i understand that they've lived their life, that some of them have done things we may wish we will someday achieve too, and yes, towards those people, i can see where the respect has come from. but there are some, who just expect the respect when they have done nothing for us to look up to/upon but instead the complete opposite.

take my grandfather as an example. he's still living today, he's survived war with his family, they've been lucky enough to escape safely from that horrible environment together. but other than that, he doesn't really have anything to be so cocky about. he's your typical chinese man, with those traditional beliefs of how a man is the leader of the family, has the final say and just sits back whilst the wife does all the housework etc.

maybe it's just me, and the cultural difference that i grew up in that i don't believe in those same things, but i lose respect for those men who believe that that's the way we should be living. he, is a strong believer in that, and we've never been close. sure, he's been there for me, i think when i was younger. i remember that he always dropped me off at school, he was always there to pick me up from school, when i needed a lift, he was mum's first option. but other than that, i don't remember having much of a relationship with him.

even now, when i try to have a conversation with him, or try to create some sort of relationship, i realise more and more each time that he is the type of person i can not tolerate. everything from his beliefs to his actions i don't like.

he is a stubborn man, he demands things, he believes he's in control with everyone and the life they live. he makes people unhappy, he gets agitated over the littlest things simply because he disapproves and doesn't have an open mind to see the other person's opinion or feelings - he is selfish.

everything has to be done his way, otherwise it's done the wrong way and it's unacceptable. he's bias, he favours, and can't ever admit it or anything he ever does wrong. he doesn't treat people the way an individual should be treated. he does things so that it benefits him and only him, just like he did with his children - made them work, but never rewarded them or gave them the childhood/teenage life they should have been able to live. they were forced to work morning to night, to earn the money so that their family could live. and even though he was suffering from an injury, he couldn't even spare a few dollars for his children to spend. he never compliments, he doesn't do change, everything's always the same.

he expects me to speak to him as if i'm interested in what he's saying, he expects me to never say no, he expects me to achieve high results so he can boast about it as i am his oldest grandchild. he expects me to talk to him and give a damn about him, and i'm not saying i don't. he expects me to respect him.

his expectations of me are beyond believable. none of which have a good or even fair reason as to why i should. i respect a very little amount of people, and that's because there are only a limited number of people in this world that i have come across who have given me a reason to believe in them. my grandfather, he will not be getting any respect from me anytime soon, until he changes some of his ways and starts respecting others.

i believe "you get what you give", and that "you'll achieve according to how much effort you put in".

slowly over the past year, i have observed him and his life. his actions are slowly leaving him alone, and it makes me feel sad, feel sorry for him. i just wish there was some way that i could tell him, or to let him know of the consequences. because even if he can see them slowly occuring, he can't admit, not to his wife, not to his children, not even to himself - he juat can't accept the truth, because that's a way of admitting defeat.