my distraction.

the last couple of weeks, i had found someone i could talk to, fairly honestly. i hadn't known him long, two months i think. i saw him once a week, but most of our convos happened online. we had spent days talking for ages, there was a day where we spoke eleven hours straight. we stayed up late chatting, joking and whatever else. he was good, i felt comfortable telling him whatever; my problems, what i was thinking and sharing my childish imagination.

he was smart, educating me and telling me thinks i had not known before. he was funny, his imagination was similar to mine; in many ways, when i think about it, we are very much alike. he gave me the attention i needed, when i needed it most, and soon i found myself thinking about him all the time, and going online just for him. he made me feel better, he made me smile, he made me laugh.

but friday night at a party, when things were coming to an end, i couldn't help but think about the guy i have a complicated relationship with.. then i thought about it, and thought that maybe, this new guy, was simply a distraction from what was bringing me down constantly. it was a nice distraction i admit, but distractions, they never last long..

i thought i had moved on, i thought those feelings had disappeared within those two weeks, but i realise a couple of weeks later, that i haven't actually moved an inch, i'm still in the exact same position where i started - waiting for him..