birthday eve.

tonight is my birthday eve, but i don't feel excited or anything. it feels like it's just going to be another normal day at school..

maybe it's because i've already celebrated it, and there won't be any surprises or presents. maybe it's because who i want to spend it with, won't be around. maybe it's because it seems like no one at home cares about it. or maybe it's a mix of all of the above.

i finish at 12.15 tomorrow, but no one finishes as early as i do. i want to go out for dinner, but everyone's working/busy. it feels like no one cares; i honestly don't know what to think.

and fuck my parents. telling me to go to bed now? do they not understand? it feels so depressing, that those i care most about, don't seem to care about me at all. all i wanted for my birthday was to be happy, and it seems like i'm going to feel depressed. i thought birthdays were meant to be a special thing.. but i guess those around me think differently.

43 minutes to go.