fsdiuvhnsekjfbskfh !

freaking crazy parents, over react to everything. i get a note from school about late submission of work and they straight away respond with, "why haven't you handed it in? you're going to get expelled. it's going to affect whether you get into uni or not." FFS. BACK OFF.

like seriously, if that were the result of everyone's late submission of work, don't you reckon that just about every school would be empty? and uni's would be so much easier to get into? because there would be less competition?

they're really starting to get to me. i mean yeah, my marks are dropping and i'm not doing as well as i used to, but it doesn't mean i'm getting dumber; it's just that i can not be bothered with shit i have no interest in.

they think i'm going out too much and mixing with the wrong kind of people, and that is why my grades are dropping. um hello? yes the people i surround myself with influence me, but theyr're not the ones to blame; it's not their fault my teachers make me fall asleep, it's not their fault my teachers don't know how to teach. amazingly if you try to believe, they're trying to help me.

my parents believe i'm a 'bad' child, turning more rebellious; it seriously makes me laugh. they need to upgrade their knowledge on teenagers, get their facts right before accusing and keep up to date with the culture we're living in today, not china's.

urghh.

i'm sick of this whole two way thing; it's driving me crazy. it's so annoying, how just one thing can make you feel two things at once.
how you can feel stressed but yet also feel proud of yourself about something. how you can miss someone whilst wishing you didn't care. how you can love something all the while wishing you didn't. how you wish things would go one way, but are going the opposite.

don't you hate how you don't know what you want to do about things, but know what you SHOULD do? how majority of the time, our wants & needs are completely opposites? how you know if you went with what you needed, it would hurt you. but going with what you wanted, does not differ? but how sitting in between and doing absolutely nothing about it, continuing like nothing's wrong, only makes you feel even worse?

why is life so complicated? why must it be a bitch?

thanks for absolutely nothing.

boy, you have me constantly thinking about you, constantly checking my phone for a txt from you, constantly waiting for you. i thought we were heading somewhere, thought you felt the same too.. you told me something i didn't expect, you raised my hopes.. but it's just a few days after, and things don't seem to be the same.. or any better. it seems kind of awkward, feels like you don't want to talk to me as much anymore..

was it just me this whole time, seeing something completely different to what it really was? was i just setting myself up for more disappointment? i really thought you'd be different, i thought you'd actually be good for me.. so far it just looks like you're the same as the others.

i'm just really unsure of what to do, i feel like i'm being played by you.. baby you know how i feel about you, and you still said all of that. just tell me, do you actually care about me?

mmm.

the days don't seem to get any clearer,
and you wish you could just fade away..

isn't it funny how a few words can change everything? how we let ourselves down because of something someone said? when you were feeling happy with where it was all heading, but suddenly you're so unsure of what was actually happening? how you believed everything before, but now you just don't know what to think about it all?

she thought i should know, but did she tell me too much? i know she was just being a good friend, but its left me lost and confused. all these thoughts running through my head, i don't know what to believe, nor do i know what to think of it all ..

youre stuck in my head like my favourite song.

Will you be more than a friend, if we took it there?
I promise you'll see, how good it will be; if you were more than a friend.
Let's give love a try, the feeling is right.
There's no reason why, you can't be more than a friend.

there's this boy, who i can't get out of my mind.

somewhere and somehow, he revived me from a world of what seemed to be just black and white. every time i tried to stand up, i only fell back down. but he, he is the one i am thankful for, for saving me from all of my suffering. he's brought the colours back into my life, he's brought laughter and happy smiles; but he doesn't even know..

just talking to him puts a smile on my face. he automatically brightens up my day, no matter how dark it was; he turns my shit days around; he turns my grey skies blue.

because of him i feel happier, almost all the time; but not talking to him, makes me miss him so much. he's making my heart, skip a faster beat.