Bring on 2011.

It's a brand new year. My final highschool year. My final minor year. The end of my childhood.

I have been well aware of all the above for a long time, and I had been cool with it. I set myself goals, had all these positive quotes and shiet around me. But it wasn't until just a few days ago that it really hit me - I'm in year twelve, my final year. And since then, I've been stressing. Homework still incomplete, haven't succeeded in finding a maths tutor, and my attitude towards school & motivation still, no where in sight.

I'm so scared of failing. So scared of not doing well. Scared of not doing as well as I know I can. Worried about stress. Worried about struggling with the workload. Worried about the final outcome.

Year twelve only comes around once. I've only got this one chance to prove myself, my capabilities and show others my potential. I'm scared, but perhaps the fear of failing will be enough to get me motivated. Maybe not, but I'm hoping it will be.. I don't have much else. I've come so far, how can I just not do anything, right?

The look on everyone's faces; the disappointment, or perhaps joy and happiness is what I'll witness. Either way, I'm shitting myself. But, I promised myself at the end of 2010, as a new year's resolution, to stay focused and that school comes first. No boys, no fights, no drama - just study. It's 9 months of sacrifice for a potentially successful future. It'll be worth it, cover the negative with something positive and I'll be fine. Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll come out with a proud smile, and party away the last few months of my childhood after.