something worth having, is worth waiting for.

i miss you so much, but do i even cross your mind? i hate being the one to show you how i feel first, especially when you don't respond the way i would like you to. i wish you knew, what i go through for you, i really do. i wish, every once in a while, you would show me how you're feeling or at least tell me what you're thinking instead of leaving me constantly guessing.

i said i would wait for you, because i believe that you're worth it, but it takes two to tango. i need to know how you feel too..

fair? love us both equally? bullshit.

i hate the way you say things, and then act the exact opposite. i hate how you're bias and favour him, and then deny it. i hate how when he does something it's okay, but when i do it, it's a completely different story. you say you're not like those traditional chinese people, where the son comes first and is more important. yeah, i heard your words, but your actions speak much louder.

you say that you are a 'fair' person, are you sure? have you taken a look at yourself? when i ask for something, it's a 'no' or 'go ask your dad'. when it's him, 'yeah, okay' is your response. especially when you know that what he is going to ask, dad will say no. you side with him so much, and you don't even realise. when i try to bring it up, you come to your defence straight away and an argument breaks out.

i'm honestly sick of your shit and the way you treat me compared to him. i'm not saying you don't do anything for me, and maybe a little bit of this is jealousy, but all i want is some fairness. you do so much for him, but very little for me. can you at least take a step back and look at what you're doing? and when i bring it up or something, can you NOT deny it? it really turns my anger up.

i actually want to have a good relationship with you, but it just seems close to impossible - we seem to disagree on almost everything. i wish i could verbally discuss with you this issue, but everyone knows that would just turn ugly. so i am forced to type out what i'm feeling, and hope that you will soon realise the problem with your own eyes, mother.. which i very much doubt will ever happen.

words are not enough.

Let's keep the fire burning, don't let go
I think we got a chance babe, so don't put out the glow
Cause I believe in us, at least you say
But I don't feel it no more. It's just another game you play.

But if you really want me, to stay, be close to you
Better show me baby, show what love can do

You say you love me, but words are not enough
I want to feel, feel it's real, feel the magic when we touch

You say you want me, but words are not enough
I wanna bring back for good, bring back what we have lost

All the time I've waited, on my own
I've started thinking baby, I'm better off alone, but I still feel for you
I wish I could let go, stuck in wishful thinking, that love can make us grow

(A love for real) Really love me
(Keep you close to me) Please stay
(Let me show you babe)
Show what love can do

You say you love me, but words are not enough
I want to feel, feel it's real, feel the magic when we touch

You say you want me, but words are not enough
I wanna bring back for good, bring back what we have lost

I try to reach you and I try to feel you
Want you close tonight oh, but it seems you keep avoiding me now
Given up on us somehow, and now I'm lost

You say you love me, but words are not enough
I want to feel, feel it's real, feel the magic when we touch

You say you want me, but words are not enough
I wanna bring back for good, bring back what we have lost
I wanna bring back for good, words are not enough.

tata young writes amazing songs, her lyrics i can relate to. and boy, it's true what she sings; words are not enough ..

i miss the old days, so much.

sigh. everything has changed so much, there's no more 'me' time anymore - to just chill and relax, there's no more just hanging with friends, there's no more time to do anything fun. everybody has part-time jobs, homework, and their own problems to deal with nowadays. it sucks.

it's so hard to find time to just chill altogether, or with the ones you want to be around. sometimes you just need to kick back with a few friends talking about jackshit, but no one has time for that anymore.

i looked back on some pictures, wondering where the time had gone, it's like it just flew by without me realising.. and in no time, i'll be in uni - how freaky. can't time just slow down a little, so i can take a breath and enjoy the moments i have?

there's an exception to every rule.

so, i've been a little slack with blogging.. but here's one for may ;D

the other night, i lay awake with distractions on my mind. i refresh my facebook news feed and suddenly his profile pops up at the top.. i wondered, "is it pure coincidence or is there a reason for that?"

i believe in fate, i believe that everything happens for a reason. but that night, i couldn't help but question those beliefs. it frustrated me, i was losing sleep the night right before my Unit 3 SAC.

that night, i realised that there are two possible reasons for all actions; so which one would be right? the one of the person doing action, or the person receiving? you could get two completely different 'meanings' from just one action.. so when i say 'i believe everything happens for a reason', is that reason what i perceive it to be, or the other person? and what if, they didn't do it on purpose? is that just pure coincidence? or is that 'fates' action?

this topic has bothered me since, as i can't come up with a conclusion that has nothing contradicting it. my beliefs are like the english language, there's an exception to every rule.