it hurts.

why do we do this to ourselves?
why can't we act like guys, all cool & shit, like nothing's wrong?
why do we make ourselves suffer the pain?

like honestly, why do we keep reminding ourselves of the past?
how great it was & how happy they made us .
why can't we let ourselves enjoy our life, without having a thought of them ruining the moment?

why was it that before the relationship grew, we were doing fine on our own but when they say it's over, everything suddenly feels like it's falling down; like it's the end of the world..

why do we keep thinking of what went wrong and what could've been?
why do we keep replaying all the good times that we shared?
why do we keep reading over txts, convos, & reminding ourselves of what they had once said and promised over and over again?

how come guys can simply move on, but we cant?
why do we do this to ourselves, seriously, why?
it feels like crap, and everything is shit.

i wonder how we let ourselves fall so deep; so deep that we can't get ourselves out ..

i hate feeling like this; like i'm missing a part of me, like i'm incomplete.
i hate faking those smiles everyday and acting as if i'm fine.
and i hate how he just keeps living his life like nothing ever happened, like it didn't affect him one little bit.

im hoping.

don't you hate it when you want to tell someone something, but can never find the right words to say?
how you want to tell someone how much you miss them, how much you love them, how much you need them but its never the right time?

don't you hate how everything can just change in one second?
how the person who always made you smile, suddenly became the reason you cry?
how the one person you trusted with your heart, becomes the one to break it?
and how sometimes there's just nothing you can do about it?

but that's life isn't it?
if everything went how we wanted it to, wheres the challenge?
how would we grow, how would we learn?

but even though we know that its all part of life, we still feel what we feel.
and we don't know what to do about it; which way we should turn..

give it time, as they all say, and you'll get your answer.

first blog / intro ?

blehh, im bored & decided to make a blog?
not use to publishing what i write, rather keep it to myself;
guess this is a change.

not sure how often i plan to blog, not sure if i even will ?
just thought if i needed to express how i feel or what im thinking,
but cant say it directly to people, you might find it here ?

anyways yeah, thats all for nows .